"The more stuff I donated, the more I was able to breathe. The more trash I threw away, the more weight I felt lifted. The more stuff I took out of our home, the more I was able to see a new life. The more uncluttered I lived, the more joy I found”. - Zina Harrington

Inspired by a woodlouse

The other day, I was in a Pilates session, face at floor level, and I became distracted by a woodlouse.  Yes, you read that correctly. I was distracted by a woodlouse.  It was slowly making its way across the floor, dragging behind it a bundle of debris. It looked heavier and bigger than the woodlouse could carry.  A bunch of cobwebs, the remains of a spider and some bits of dried up leaf.  As I watched with curiosity, it came to me: “Wow. This reminds me of the baggage we carry as humans!”

We walk through life, slowly collecting baggage that inevitably becomes too big and heavy to carry.

Eventually, the woodlouse freed itself from the debris and proceeded to climb, with greater ease, onto the doormat, and off it went on its merry way.

And so began the start of this article and the realization that, for the past seven years, I have been letting go of a lot of baggage. It’s a liberating, messy, sometimes painful, transformative process. And I wouldn’t change it for the world. 

It means I can live my life feeling authentically like my true self, but I couldn’t see this, or the enormity of what I was holding, until I had begun to clear the way. 

What is “The Baggage”? 

Our baggage means the burdens and wounds of our lifetime and that of previous generations.  Our conditioning and limiting beliefs. The weight of expectation and responsibility.  The material belongings we have, that we’re told will make us happy.  Our financial commitments (to pay for the material belongings we were told would make us happy). Saying yes to things we really don’t want to do.  Putting on a polished and brave face when we’re feeling less than.  Bottled up emotions that we don’t know how to express.  The grudges we hold.  The trauma we haven’t yet healed.

Just reading all of that sounds heavy, right?  It raises the questions: How do we let it go? And why do we hold onto it?

 Lightbulb moments

I was oblivious to all the baggage I was carrying - until I burned out in 2017.  I had previously experienced long periods of depression and anxiety, but I had no idea why.  I later learned it was because of everything I had suppressed.  I started to ask questions – why is this happening?  Where did I go wrong?  How have I ended up, 37 years old (as I was then) feeling so ill, lost and confused?

I wrote more about this and the recovery journey in my previous articles – Could Burning out be your Breakthrough?  Depression as a symptom and in the bestselling book There She Glows – Volume 3.

And so began my journey of letting go. I had no idea what I was embarking on at the time. It’s only six years on, as I reflect back, that I can see it for what it is.  As someone once said to me: “It’s like walking through a wet fog. You don’t realize you’re getting wet, until you get somewhere dry.”  

Does this resonate with you?

Inspiration and a wake-up call

In The Art of Holding Space – an incredible book by Heather Plett - she talks about the Spiral of Authenticity.  As part of this process she explains about the masks we put on to hide the parts of ourselves that (we are taught) aren’t acceptable to the world, and how we become the people our influencers expect us to be. 

Many of us, having gone through life asleep and disconnected from the truth of who we are, were busy building the lives we learned we should, and simply trying to survive.  Also known as “collecting baggage”.

Eventually, we may get to a point where we start to ask questions and begin the process of letting go, so that we can ultimately, return to the truth of who we are.  That’s what baggage does – it disconnects us from our core. From our truth.  It makes life heavy and complicated.

We begin to release the past and unmask. We discover truths that might be difficult to accept and we begin to heal. We might grieve as we free ourselves of these burdens. We might go through stages of feeling insecure, we might feel betrayed.  But, when we begin to open our hearts and minds to discover the truth that lies beneath, we can connect more authentically with ourselves and the world around us.  We can move through life feeling inner peace, compassion, with a deeper faith, trust and belief in ourselves.  We can see and experience the world in a completely different and more expansive way.

In May and July 2022, my Mum and my Nan passed away.  It was a deeply painful time.  As part of the practicalities, I was responsible for sorting through Mum’s possessions.  She lived in a tiny, one-bedroom flat.  Her entire life was squeezed into it!  Meticulously organized but bursting at the seams. It was obvious that much of it had not been touched for a long time. Dusty and stagnant - this was baggage in material form!  What had she been holding onto it for? 

Why do we hold on to so much stuff? 

We attach meaning and identify to everything we hold onto.  The reality is, our true meaning and identity lies within.

As I was finding new homes for her belongings, I felt myself wanting to cling on by hanging onto her possessions.  But then, I was hit by a moment of truth: Both my Mum and my Nan are always with me. 

They’re in my memories, my heart, the photographs I have.

They’re in my DNA. 

I invited myself to let go of even more.  When it came to moving home twice in the following year, I went through the same process with my own belongings.  Because, after we’re gone, what happens to it anyway? It gets sent to charity shops, taken to the household waste disposal site, sold, recycled.

I love this quote by Zina Harrington: “The more stuff I donated, the more I was able to breathe. The more trash I threw away, the more weight I felt lifted. The more stuff I took out of our home, the more I was able to see a new life.  The more uncluttered I lived, the more joy I found”.

This is also reminiscent of our mental and emotional baggage.  This part might be a bit trickier. But if we approach it with intention and curiosity, we can gently encourage ourselves to observe and inquire: Do I really need to keep this? [Thought, belief, past emotional pain, judgement, self-criticism…] Is it really serving me?  What would I choose instead?

The calling

Are you being invited to lighten your physical, emotional or mental load? How can you tell?

You might start to notice an inner niggle.  Perhaps this is an invitation to take the first steps to living more lightly?  What might be the signs and that this is calling you?  Sometimes it might hit you suddenly, perhaps after a shocking or traumatic experience. An awakening of sorts, and it can feel like you’ve been thrown into chaos.  And, sometimes it’s more subtle:

• You might be questioning the decisions you have made and the path you have taken through life. 

• Perhaps the things you do, the people you spend time with and the work that you loved are feeling less meaningful.

• You might feel more tired, weighed down by life.

• You might have unexplainable physical pain.

• You may be reaching for numbing mechanisms; scrolling on social media, comfort food, alcohol and mindless TV watching – because not doing so feels somehow uncomfortable.

• You could notice you are reflecting on your past, wondering why it happened the way it did.

• Maybe you are feeling less satisfied by the material possessions you own.

• Perhaps you’ve got that itchy feet feeling that says “something needs to change”.

Whatever it is for you, I invite you to create some space for inquiry.  Be curious and perhaps journal on what you are noticing.  A powerful process you could try is to light a candle and set the intention to be open and curious. Set a timer for 10 or 15 minutes and just write.  Don’t overthink it.  Just write and see what comes.

You might begin to sort through material possessions.  Which ones conjure up positive or challenging memories?  Is this something you want to hold on to? Does it bring you joy? Is it useful?

There are amazing tools out there that can support you.  I use powerful energy transformation techniques, breath, physical movement, journaling, reading and connecting with nature to support me with letting go.  I also use these techniques with my clients too.

It’s a dance between the light and the deep, so it’s important to find time and space where you can begin to let go.  How can you create more space for yourself?

Imagine a lighter and simpler life. You might imagine that sense of childlike innocence, awe and wonder - before responsibilities took over! Can you invite that same feeling, even for a little while?

I suppose it was a sense of childlike wonder that drew my attention to the woodlouse!  Who says, just because we are adults, that we have to be ‘grown up’ all the time?

Final words

I’m going to leave you with these lyrics from a powerful song called Burgs by Mt. Wolf:

“…..then you’ll discover quite quickly just how extraordinary life is meant to be.  And it’s just we get so messy, it’s not that we’re doing lots of wrong things, it’s just that our minds are so messy. We don’t keep it simple. 

And we end up making the life that we’re living so inordinately complicated, completely unnecessarily.  And it’s such a shame that we end up in a real muddle when in reality, you ought to be having the time of your life.

It doesn’t actually take very much to make the deepest part of us incredibly happy.  Just to be here and to appreciate being here. To feel that you’re alive and be in touch with your heart. That’s it! That’s it!

….The chance to be part of this [human life] happens briefly.  The invitation is not to show how inventive and imaginative you are, but how much you can notice what you’re already a part of. And appreciate it and share it.  You care about those that are around you.  Look out for their welfare whilst you look out for your own. That’s it.  And then you’ll get to the end of it, having had an awesome time. Knowing that it is something you would recommend to others…”

My final invitation is for you to ask yourself:

• How can I live more lightly?

• How can I simplify my life?

• What would this enable me to enjoy more of?

You never know, you might be surprised by how liberated and free you feel.

Are you ready to let go of what no longer serves?

If the answer is yes, then the guided self-healing I offer could be exactly what you’re looking for.

Its one-to-one deep coaching & mentoring, using intuitive, integrative tools and techniques that you carry forward far beyond our time together.

To find out more, book your free 30-minute call here: https://link.feacreate.com/widget/bookings/vitality-discovery-call

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