“Be the change you wish to see in the world”

Mahatma Gandhi

Why do I need radical self-care, and how do I do it?

I want to introduce you to the concept of ‘radical’ self-care, and why it’s so important in today’s chaotic world.

Radical self-care is a phrase that just slipped out of my mouth one day a few years ago.  The concept of ‘practicing radical self-care in today’s chaotic world’ was born.  I’ve been practicing it ever since.  And I mean ‘practicing’ because it takes self-compassion and dedication to changing the habits of a lifetime to do it.

So, let me explain.

Firstly, let me pose a few questions:

• Do you find it hard to squeeze your own self-care in? 

• Are there conflicting priorities, and ‘you’ always end up at the bottom of the list? 

• Are there more demands on your time and energy than you seem to be able to keep up with? 

• Are you regularly feeling exhausted, unappreciated, and/or unrecognized?

• How long have you endured all of this, and is it time to do something about it?

 If you answered yes to any, or all of these questions, this is where ‘radical’ self-care comes in.

What is it?

Radical self-care is having the courage to make sustainable change to how you care for yourself – no matter what anyone else thinks, or demands of you. It’s choosing to put your self-care first, instead of last, each and every day.  It’s finding  self-compassion for the entirety of who and how you are and meeting yourself there every single day.

From this place, you access your body’s innate and natural wisdom to heal itself and thrive. 

When I speak about this concept to others, common themes that arise are fear, guilt, and not having enough time: 

• The fear of what would happen if they started to change the habits and patterns of a lifetime.

• Guilt for not meeting the needs and demands of others first, or the (often perceived, and not real) life obligations that we have. 

• Not having enough time because we’re trying to squeeze in being and doing all the things for other people or the organisations we work for. And let’s face it – the western world we live in is pretty chaotic right now and, as I talked about in previous blog posts, many of us have imbalanced lives, and find it hard to rest. We’re addicted to being busy!

Those that struggle with self-care (and I am speaking from personal and professional experience) tend to have people-pleasing and perfectionism patterns, poor boundaries and limiting beliefs about worth, deserving, confidence and being good enough. Sound familiar?

This is where the concept of ‘radical’ self-care deepens.

It’s not just about taking an Epsom salt bath a couple of times a week, abstaining from alcohol , and eating plenty of fruit and vegetables (although these are important too). It’s also looking at your wellbeing holistically, on a physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual level. Something I call the PEMS approach.

Deepening

When we start to deepen our approach to self-care, it requires courage to look within, and consider the truth of our mental, emotional and even our spiritual landscape.

In the new, online, Radical Self-care Community (launching May 2025) we will be looking at different themes each month that support this holistic approach to our wellbeing.  It’s so much easier to make these changes in community with others where there is compassionate support and gentle accountability. 

A huge part of my own self-care journey has been healing from past trauma, looking at the root cause of why I burned out, and addressing the patterns of behaviour that kept me in chronic stress. I have been fortunate enough to have an incredible support network throughout my journey, and I couldn’t have done it without them.

The truth is, it takes courage to change what has always been, so that you can experience what you truly deserve: wellness, vitality & joy.

This is why I believe practicing a deeper level of self-care is nothing other than essential, but also radical, and this is why it takes having a strong support network. This new approach goes against the cultural norms of quick fixes, instant gratification, distraction & avoidance, over-busyness, and getting sucked into the pressure of keeping up with the Joneses. This isn't a journey to be done alone, but it is definitely worth it!

A different view

Just because something is ‘normal’ doesn’t mean it is healthy.  What has become normal in today’s world is, in many ways, toxic.  Gabor Mate goes deeply into this concept in his book The Myth of Normal.  As explained in the book, Bruce McEwen’s concept of “allostatic load” makes so much sense: it's the wear and tear on our body of having to maintain its internal equilibrium in the face of changing and challenging circumstances.

There’s no question that the changing and challenging circumstances we’re facing now are greater than ever. 

Many of us have a heavy allostatic load, to the detriment of our physical, emotional and mental wellbeing, and this is now showing up in research.  A recent Yale study shows the cumulative impact of stress on accelerated biological aging and the researchers note: “Our society is experiencing more stress than ever before, leading to both negative psychiatric and physical outcomes”. (Information taken from The Myth of Normal).

There’s no question that change is needed.

Be the change

Starting to consider such change can be daunting.  It starts small, and with each of us individually beginning to make different choices.

Each change we make will have a ripple effect on the people, and the world around us. We'll gradually shift from surviving, to truly thriving.

If you’re ready to move away from valuing productivity and achievement, over and above wellbeing and inner peace; if you’re ready to shift away from glorifying busy-ness, and undervaluing rest, then you’re ready to be the change you wish to see in the world.

It’s time to break the systemic patterns of people-pleasing, self-sacrifice and perfectionism.

It’s time to stop the need to mask and pretend we’ve got it sorted, only to fall apart behind closed doors when no one is looking.

Together, lets turn towards slowing down and finding presence, re-discovering our natural wellness, vitality & joy.

Let’s re-claim our power as the incredible, unique, and wonderful human beings that we are.

Join the membership community

In the Radical self-care online community, away from the noise of social media, I will share with you each month sustainable and powerful ways to easily practice daily self-care.  You will be fully supported to shift from self-care last to self-care first, and you will have the opportunity to meet with like-hearted people on the same journey as you.

Each week we will have inspiring discussions, and you will have access to incredible resources to facilitate your self-care transformation.

Launching May 2025, you can join the waitlist now and be the first to hear about special launch offers and events.

Everyone is worthy of wellness, and that includes you